Love, Death and Everything Between
by depressionisanillusion
Summary: Hermione's got a lot to deal with in her seventh year. Useless crushes, a little brother, Harry's self-destructive behavior and a terrible past. Can she cope?


A/N - It's not very good, so flames are definitely permitted. Actually, they're encouraged, as long as they're constructive. Don't just yell at me because you feel like it. Though I must say, I'm used to that. So, without further ado, THE STORY!

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Of all the people to love, of all the things to happen, why did it have to happen like this? Why did I get that queezy feeling in my stomach every time I looked at him? I told myself, _Calm down, Hermione. You're overreacting_. But I knew the truth. And it scared me. It still does. I'm sitting on my bed with my head in my hands, thinking. But I don't have a long time to think. In a few minutes, I'll be called by my little brother. He's excited as hell, because today he goes to Hogwarts to the first time. And he's excited for me, because if anyone picks on him, he'll just say, "MY sister's the Head Girl, so you'd better watch out!" Corey loves bragging about me, but it did cause some problems at his former (muggle) school. But he can't help it. He's a good kid and all, but a little bit of an egotist. He reminds me of someone I know, someone I think I love. But it's insane! Of all the people to love . . . . It's just wrong. And besides, how do I know it's love? I don't know what love is! I have no idea what love feels like, or how it's supposed to feel . . . It's probably just a ridiculous, adolescent crush. There! I feel better already! Or do I? What if he's the head boy? What if . . . Why am I so stuck on what-ifs? Why can't I be like Parvati, so sure of herself around boys, or like Lavender, such an easy flirt? Why do I have to be . . . me? He'll never like me for who I am . . . . They never do.

"Hermione!" Corey's voice floats up the stairs like a ghosts, while I'm still caught up in my thoughts. I barely hear him the first time. "HERMIONE!" Ouch. I heard it that time.

"What is it, Corey?" Then, realising just how stupid that sounds, I add: "Is it time to go?"

"Well, _duh_," Corey says in his teenage-girl-in-drag voice, rushing into my room and grabbing my hand. He pulls me off my bed and practically slams me againt my bedside table in his haste to leave. "Come _on_, 'Mione," he groans in desperation, falling over and clutching the stitch in his side. "We . . . need . . . to . . . go! Right NOW! We'll be late if we don't!"

I laugh at his theatrics. He's always been a little bit on the diva-ish side, though I'd never admit that to his face. He has his pride.

"Corey, we live three minutes from King's Cross!" I blurt. "We could walk and get there on time. Not to mention the fact that it's only —" here I glance at my watch "— Ten after ten!"

"But _still_," he whines, getting up on his knees and wrapping his arms around my waist. "I've been wanting to get ever since you first went, and that was _seven years ago_! I don't want to miss it!" I sigh, and submit.

"Okay, okay, we'll go now," I pretend to be upset about it, but really, I'm not. I'm almost as excited about it as Corey. It is my seventh and final year, after all. I am Head Girl, after all. There is a chance that the boy I . . . . Am crushing on . . . . will be the Head Boy, after all. I will be seeing my best friends again, after two months apart. I will still be able to join along with the DA again, and learn more, and have exams again, and plan my career . . .

Of course, I might not even have a career. I might not even live past this year. I'm surprised that I even made it to my seventeenth year, anyway. I could have died last year. I _did_ die last year. If it hadn't been for Luna Lovegood, I wouldn't still be around. _But I paid for it, didn't I? _I chided myself, trying to hold back tears. _I couldn't save Luna, could I? It's my fault she's dead, isn't it?_

Corey stands up and hugs me. He knows what happened last June. I didn't tell Harry or Ron, and I avoided going to Grimmauld Place all summer, but I told Corey. He might be young, but he understands a lot. Even now, he understands what it's like to lose someone important. Luna and I had been friends last year, after the whole fiasco at the Ministry. Sitting in the hospital together, talking long into the night, I had realised just how good a person Luna Lovegood was.

_And you couldn't even save her! You chose to go and help Ron after she brought you back, you didn't realise that Bellatrix was there, that she would just as quickly kill Luna the way she killed you. And when you did realise it, you were too late._

"Let's go," Corey whispers, and he helps me downstairs, while I try to stem the flow of tears now falling steadily from the corners of my eyes.

"_Don't worry, Hermione," Luna says, taking her friend's hand. "I know you couldn't get here in time. I still love you."_

"_I could have saved you, Luna_," _she sobs, trying to hold the lifeless body close to her own, trying to transfer her own life into the corpse. But she cannot. And she lets the body fall and runs away into the darkness._

"_Coward!" A voice cries after her. "COWARD!"_

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A/N - Please note that is it EXTREMELY hard to write in first-person present, so give me a break here. If you review, you get some chocolate (but please specify, unless you want what I give you).

Thanks!

Maddy


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